Absurdism, Existentialism, and a Glimpse of Transhumanism

Wrestling With the Abyss

Lately I’ve been battling recurring themes around absurdism and existentialism. I picked up The Myth of Sisyphus — which, to be honest, is a brutal read. Not only are the topics heavy, but the book itself isn’t written for comprehension by the “layman.” It’s dense with references, philosophical name-dropping, and complex analogies. It feels like you’re translating another language just to keep up.

So why do this? Why dive into such a dark subject? It’s not for fun.

The Recurring Question

Part of the hesitation I feel in writing is the whole notion of a “public digital presence.” I’m not sure how much of my deepest thoughts I want to hand over to the internet gods. But here’s the short version of what’s been circling in my head.

The recurring question has been this overwhelming: “Why does it matter?”

No matter the topic, no matter how many explanations I’ve been given, the next thought is always the same: “But why does it matter?”

Life After Certainty

Coming out of a very high-demand religion (Mormonism), I spent the first 25 years of my life surrounded by people who claimed to have an answer for everything. And for the questions without neat answers, there was always the convenient brush-off: “That’s not an important question.” I'll pause here on any mormonism related topics. But post-Mormonism, for nearly half a decade now, I’ve been left grappling with the very questions that once felt neatly answered:

• Why are we here?
• Is there any meaning at all?
• Is it possible to know? Is it found via God? Western religions? Eastern religions? Science? Some sort of mythical world that we have not yet unlocked?

And, more specifically, what do we make of the countless lives throughout human history? The billions of stories that disappear within a few generations? Three generations from now, maybe a handful of us will be remembered. Three more after that? Forgotten entirely. That realization is hard to sit with.

On one hand, it feels urgent to figure out why we’re here. On the other, I’m not sure I even believe it’s possible to know. That’s where the hope feels slim.

The Limits of Religion

Most conversations about “meaning” loop back to religion. But looking at the dominant religions of today — at least in the West — it feels absurd to imagine they hold the answers. But if you were to be able to believe in them, even if you have to suspend belief, are you actually in a better spot than if you were to not believe? Topic for another day.

The Hope in Science

Which brings me to science. For a while, I lost sight of it, sitting on the edge and staring into the black abyss of existentialism and absurdism. But I can feel a turning point. A hope for a hope.

In talking with friends, I was reminded that I do have beliefs. I believe in the meaning of science. I believe humans will solve medical issues and dramatically extend life. I believe we’ll crack cold fusion. I believe robots will handle most work, even building other robots. And if we don’t kill ourselves in the process, I believe humanity — in some form — will become a multi-planetary species. I believe that we can rise to solve problems we can’t even imagine yet.

Enter Transhumanism

This is where transhumanism comes in. A few years ago, I skimmed the surface and it all made sense. But I never dove deep. Now it feels like a framework worth exploring — a way of holding onto hope. I don't have much to say on this front yet, perhaps later.

The Role of Friends

A note on friends: these conversations matter. Not because someone hands you an answer, but because dialogue grounds you. Solo contemplation has its place, but shared discussion helps steady the mind.

Threads for Another Day

Other threads I keep circling (maybe for another day):

• Are we all just large language models, training ourselves over time, influenced by others who are essentially prompting us?
• Is capitalism the only thing that can push humanity past “escape velocity”? If so, what does that mean for me?
• Does our individual role in politics — something as simple as voting — actually matter in the scope of history?
• Is religious myth actually holding us together, even if objectively it all could be false?